Antiques Roadshow

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Antiques Roadshow

Post  B Hatchet on Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:09 pm

Everybody has seen this show on the guide thingy when you're looking for something good to watch. You may have even watched it. The short and skinny of it is people, usually old people, bring their antiques to the Antiques Roadshow, which, as you probably guessed, travels from place to place. They get their item appraised, and if the thing is notable in some way (i.e. extremely rare or valuable, super interesting story, or completely worthless despite elaborate "Nazi Treasure Trove" backstory) it gets featured on the show. The appraisers tell you what it's worth, and you get to see the item's owner's reaction to the appraisal, which is invariably, "Oh, wow."

Why should you watch out for it? Because it sucks you in somehow, but it's an hour long show that you get nothing out of. You don't learn anything useful, unless you happen to see a chair worth $$$ that's identical to the one your ass is occupying. You also don't get a story. Oh, you get "stories"—usually nonsense that old people spout about how their grandfather corresponded with Louis Armstrong via the post, and these are his letters, but who cares! Nothing you can relate to or engage with. You don't even get to see anyone get the money their item is worth, because it's not an auction, just an appraisal. Just like all the people on the show, in the end, you leave with what you came with, and an hour of your dwindling life has been frittered away on looking at other people's crap.
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Re: Antiques Roadshow

Post  justjay - admin on Wed Jul 22, 2009 1:14 am

Yeah. I've seen it a few times, but I never land on it for long. And I like antiques. Even as a person who enjoys walking the swap meets, I see no value in watching people "win the lottery" of accidental buys or musty attic discoveries.

I was thinking about ways they could make the show better. Like - lets say that Grandma had to guess the estimated price within a five percent under/over. And lets say that if she failed, the antique in question would be smashed over her bluegray head by a methed-out ex-wrestler wearing a potato sack with one eyehole cut out. That would at least add an element of danger to the whole thing. Of course I'd imagine after a few episodes, the fogies would catch on and you'd see a sudden rise in paintings and prom-dresses up for appraisal and a lot less world war 2 era fire pokers and decorative suits of armor.
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Re: Antiques Roadshow

Post  winklepitter on Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:01 pm

LOL!!

Oh look granny brought in an old cannon! Uh oh she guessed wrong! Boom!!!

Can you two get together and start making TV shows please?
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Re: Antiques Roadshow

Post  louisedollie on Fri Jul 31, 2009 5:44 pm

Surprised Smile Very Happy Razz Laughing
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BANG!

Post  juliann*aka*JEW! on Mon Aug 10, 2009 7:47 am

*how the Antique Road show should really be*
a shriveled up lady awaits her greedy antique hording parasite, a 75 year old great grandma holding what looks like a rusty bomb ( a dud probably left over from one of the world wars). As the observer takes a closer look at the bomb, dusting it off and giving it a gentle touch, she declares that it was from world war 2 and is worth approximately...
JUST THEN THE BOMB TICKS 3 TIMES AND THEN EXPLODES KILLING AND INJURING ALMOST ALL OF THE PEOPLE AND THERE PIECE OF SHIT ANTIQUES.

yup.

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Re: Antiques Roadshow

Post  justjay - admin on Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:27 am

juliann*aka*JEW! wrote:*how the Antique Road show should really be*
a shriveled up lady awaits her greedy antique hording parasite, a 75 year old great grandma holding what looks like a rusty bomb ( a dud probably left over from one of the world wars). As the observer takes a closer look at the bomb, dusting it off and giving it a gentle touch, she declares that it was from world war 2 and is worth approximately...
JUST THEN THE BOMB TICKS 3 TIMES AND THEN EXPLODES KILLING AND INJURING ALMOST ALL OF THE PEOPLE AND THERE PIECE OF SHIT ANTIQUES.

yup.

Then, after the explosions, it rains on the ashes and makes old people gravy.
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