Episode 2 - The Infestation

I mentioned a particular infestation problem I've been having at the beginning of episode 2. It involved a pack of feral children taking shelter under the coniferous tree in our front yard in order to smoke. Any suggestions on how I could take care of them? I'm considering buying an android that knows karate, but they are pretty expensive. Any ideas are very welcome!

You should pee under their tree, or at least deposit pee under their tree, if you don't feel like whizzing out-of-doors. If they smell it, they might go away. If they don't, you can have a laugh on them every time you catch them in there. After a while, leave a sign or note informing them you pee where they gather.

B Hatchet

B Hatchet wrote:You should pee under their tree, or at least deposit pee under their tree, if you don't feel like whizzing out-of-doors. If they smell it, they might go away. If they don't, you can have a laugh on them every time you catch them in there. After a while, leave a sign or note informing them you pee where they gather.

B Hatchet

You know how I can tell I've been communicating with you today, B? Because I spent well over 5 minutes trying to decide what kind of container in my kitchen would be best suited for transferring my urine from my bathroom to the tree in my front yard. That's not something I would normally consider.

JustJay,

I think there should be a whole outfit involved. Maybe those bib overalls you used to have. Drink a bunch of water and eat asparagus before bedtime, then pee in a screw-top mason jar in the morning. Then put on your overalls with no shirt, and do a "dramatic-sneak" into the tree area. Deposit the urine, then look at the camera (or wherever you think the alien camera might be) and wink. Then go about your biz.

B Hatchet wrote:JustJay,

I think there should be a whole outfit involved. Maybe those bib overalls you used to have. Drink a bunch of water and eat asparagus before bedtime, then pee in a screw-top mason jar in the morning. Then put on your overalls with no shirt, and do a "dramatic-sneak" into the tree area. Deposit the urine, then look at the camera (or wherever you think the alien camera might be) and wink. Then go about your biz.

Wonderful idea, B. And allow me to take it a step further by chucking the glass mason jar AT the tree, shattering it and littering the ground with pee-soaked sharks of glass. When one of them sits down, not only will they be sitting in pee but they will need stitches! I'll wait at the window with a camera like a freak and when the stand up crying I'll take a picture, print out several copies of it, take it to their school early in the morning (just down the street) and paper the halls with it.

If you come to hang out at my house, don't drink out of the 32oz taco bell cup marked "Tree Piss".

There are 2 taco bell cups...is it clearly marked or am I suppose to smell the cup first?

okay i thought about this all night!!
so spy on the little bastards to see exactly were they stand. once they are gone grab a shovel and start digging a hole thats about 7 feet. once you have done that cover the hole with leaves,grass, and any other natural out side obect. then tomorrow once those monkey fuckers take one step there BAM!!! in the hole for them. if they make it out alive they will never come back fer sure!
hahaha

Someone's been watching too much Bugs Bunny!